PENSACOLA'S POLICE INTERROGATION OF "INNOCENT" TEENAGE BOY (1963) - HUMOR - I HOPE

Having mentioned Ralph the Cop, the Saenger Theatre on Palafox Street in Pensacola Florida, and my co-worker, Jim, I find it necessary to recount the night Ralph the Cop, interrogated Jim, mercilessly.

Jim loved racing and was a regular at Pensacola Five Flags Motor Speedway (disclaimer, one of the flags is the confederate battle flag). Saving his pennies and dimes, Jim amassed enough to purchase a stock race car, a 1955 Chevy, with a 357 horsepower engine, a car with a high win record as I understand it.

As mentioned in another forum post, "Pensacols's Police Sponsored Popcorn Shower", Ralph the Cop, often worked security with Jim and me, at the Sanger Theatre's, Saturday midnight movies.

One Saturday night shortly after Jim had bought the Chevy, Ralph the Cop strolled in to work security with us.

After a little chit-chat, Ralph began to casually ask questions of Jim...

Ralph: Hey, Jim, you live in Warrington, don't you?

Jim: Yep.

Ralph: Ya ever take Navy Boulevard home?

Jim: Sometimes. (Hesitantly - sensing this was going somewhere.)

Ralph: Did you work Wednesday night?

Jim: Yep.

Ralph: Ya go home by Navy Boulevard, Wednesday night?

Jim: Might have. Don't remember. (Full teenager mode. Steve McQueen in The Blob.)

Ralph: Well, I was talking to Tony (another Pensacola cop) and he had an interesting experience the other night.

Jim: Yeah?

Ralph: Yeah. You know Tony runs the radar wagon?

At that time, Pensacola had implemented the latest technology - a white, 1958 (if I remember correctly), Ford station wagon packed full of speed-detecting radar - that a cop NOW holds in one hand.

Ralph: You've seen the radar wagon, haven't you?

Jim: Maybe (Every teenager in town knew the radar wagon by sight, knew Tony, and knew where he liked to set up.)

Ralph: Well, Wednesday night, Tony was set up on Navy Boulevard, just east of Pace (Boulevard), and about 10 o'clock, he clocked a green and white, 55 Chevy blowing west, towards Warrington, at a pretty high speed.

Jim: Yeah?

Ralph: Yeah. Well, Tony hit the lights and siren and took off after the Chevy. Almost caught it at the viaduct (A well known spot on Navy Boulevard, in Pensacola.). You know for all its weight that radar wagon's got good speed as a chase car?

Jim: Yeah?

Ralph: Yeah. Seems as Tony was about to catch the Chevy, the driver found another gear and walked away like Tony was standing still.

Jim: Yeah? Did he get the plates?

Ralph: No, he didn't, but he's on the lookout for a 1955 green and white Chevy, that runs like a stock car, with maybe, oh, a 357 under the hood... geared for racing...

Jim: Yeah?

Ralph: So, if you know anybody who has a car like that, who lives in Warrington, works late, and takes Navy Boulevard, you might want to tell them to take Barrancas Avenue home for a while... at least until Tony gets over his mad.

Jim: Yeah.

Ralph: Where's the popcorn box.

The above is a true story, the names have not been changed because the statute of limitations has expired and Tony ain't mad no more.

• Donovan Baldwin